Ink Blotting - Sucker Punch

Posted on Friday, April 01, 2011 at 10:35 PM

Review Type: General
Movie: Sucker Punch

I’d read the reviews before going in to see the movie.  I knew what I was getting into and yet, still I feel like I got Sucker Punched so hard that suddenly $12.75 wasn’t in my wallet anymore.  On paper it sounds like a win/win movie, I must admit.  5 sexily clan women combat their way through several hallucinatory epic fights to free themselves from a mental institution.  How does that not sound like fun?
Well, it would have been fun if the dialogue had been better.  It would have been fun if the plotline had any depth to it. It would have been fun if there’d been something about the movie that had made me want to care about these characters and their plight.  I read all of those negative points before going to see the movie.  I knew what I was in for.  But I thought to myself, Zack Snyder (the director) does such a great job of making a movie flow and remain constantly visually entertaining that I should still support his effort.  I had anticipated this movie for over a year, after hearing all of the epic things that Snyder had planned.
If I may, for just a second stop the review with a letter.
Dear Zack Snyder,
Stop coming up with your own stuff.  You are much better at bringing to life other people’s work.  You are obviously not a writer.  Much like George Lucas you need to give your great ideas to people who actually know the process of writing.  Get those people to create the script for your next great idea and then you can go and direct it.  I have a feeling that you have perhaps surrounded yourself with too many “yes-men” and this 83 million dollar train, while looks good in the station, will never get you to your destination.  That destination being “awesomeland”
Everyone who saw this movie.
Okay, with that done, here are a few things that the movie did right.  Special effects, cinematography and costuming.  Visually this movie was gorgeous.  You cannot get any better with zombie Nazis, dragons, giant fighting bronze samurai warriors and did I mention zombie Nazis? Picture Lord of the Rings, but instead of four hobbits you have 5 sexy 20-somethings.  And instead of walking for countless hours towards an active volcano you just air drop them into it so that they … wait, I liked those hobbits.  Each of them had character and a story arch.  None of the girls in Sucker Punch had either of those things.

The protagonist of this movie (if you can call her that) doesn’t even say anything for the first 15 minutes of this movie.  And then, when she does speak, it’s nonsense that doesn’t give you any insight into what’s going on in her mind, and since that is the place where this movie takes us to, time and again, it sure would be nice to have a grounding point to relate to her by.  The movie fractures and jumps about from one setting to the next without really giving you a semblance of an idea as to why it does.  Are these girls in an insane asylum drugged?  You would think so, but the movie never reveals that.    
I rarely say this.  Don’t go see this movie.  It’s not worth your money, or more importantly – your time.  With the Summer Movies rolling out even earlier this year there is far better fare to go and see.  When Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2 beats Sucker Punch its first week out I’m pretty sure that everyone is in agreement that this just isn’t worth seeing… if only they could condense the whole movie down to just that fight against the zombie Nazis.  Oh wait, you can probably see that on youtube.
If you want to see a good Asylum movie, go watch One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest.


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