Column #25 - The SNUB

There are two types of snubs. The first, a pretty girl turns her nose up at you. Now I'm not personally familiar with this type, though I'm told it sucks. The second is much more egregious, and in this case, unforgivable. I, of course, speak of the snubbing of Paul Giamatti's from the Academy Awards best actor category for Sideways. He was good enough for a Golden Globe nomination, good enough to win the New York Film Critics Circle Awards. Granted, I've never heard of them but that doesn't devalue the award. You'd be shocked by what I list on my CV, but I've earned every single one of the awards. I think.

This isn't the first time Giamatti has received the snub. Last year he was blown off for excellent work in American Splendor and I haven't even got to the most shocking omission of all, his work as Todd Woods in Duets. No, I'm being perfectly serious. In addition to being the best road-trip-slash-buddy-slash-karaoke movie of all time we learn that Giamatti has the voice of angel. Seriously, an angel. What can't this man do? Get an Oscar nomination apparently. Why does Oscar hate him so? I've deduced the following.

First, he doesn't fit into the "traditional" actor type modes. He's more of a character-type. Translation: He's too short and too rotund to get a nomination. Imagine a genuine looking man alongside Leo, Johnny, and Clint. They're not human, they're templates, templates of perfection and perfect masculinity. (An aside here. Of the three actors mentioned only Clint Eastwood in any way fits into my idea of real manhood). The Oscars genuinely feature attractive people in attractive roles with major problems. Giamatti's Miles Heywood is in the middle of a mid-life crisis during a weeklong win tasting. Kinda flimsy up against Leo's Howard Hughes' OCD and Jamie Foxx's blind pianist. Giamatti equals unconventionally attractive equals no Oscar nomination.

The notable exception was Richard Gere Billy Flynn's absence from the 2002 Oscars for Chicago. And he even won the Golden Globe. His role was a revelation. And his movie entrance kicked ass. Why John Travolta passed on this role I'll never know.

Second, hair-wise he's on the thinning side. Oh, let's be frank, he's balding. How many of this year's Oscar's nominees are balding: Not a one. Though certain unmentioned persons may have benefited from a weave and surgery. But that doesn't matter, unless you're playing Lex Luthor as a blind pianist overcoming left-handed Tourette's syndrome in a skull-cap, you just ain't getting that nomination. So Giamatti goes without. Again. Damn your Hollywood standards of follicle perfection.

Third, in Sideways, a movie which is the polar opposite of the downer About Schimdt was, Giamatti gets to play the straight man to the luminous Virginia Madsen, looking more gorgeous the older she gets, gets to play the straight man to Thomas Haden Church's soul-sucking sycophant. The straight man is often underestimated and just as often overlooked. I can only assume this occurred here. At least I hope it wasn't the first two suggestions, they were kind of flimsy. Besides Ernest Borgnine won an Oscar and he doesn't possess what you'd call a pretty puss.

So next time a movie featuring Paul Giamatti comes out, go see it. You'll be entertained, pleasantly surprised by his range and pathos, even in a comedy, and don't forget, the man has the voice of an angel.
Jess Nakaska is an aspiring screenwriter always on the lookout for the next great script idea. He'll let you know if he finds it. Feel free to contact him at jessnakaska@hotmail.com.