Elektra - Just Plain Awful

Let me start with the obvious: no, the film doesn't have an Elektra complex, though after sitting through two hours of this, I'm pretty sure I was having complex seizures. In fairness, let me put a few things on the table. I like Jennifer Garner. I think she's smart, strong, and good-looking. I also think Alias was one of the smartest shows on television for a while. My, how times have changed. Jennifer's in the worst movie of the year, Elektra, and we've barely kissed 2004 goodbye. Someone is going to have really work hard to equal this steaming pile of dogshit. I mean, Elektra makes Underworld look like Star Wars (the original not the money-grubbing sellout remakes), makes Aliens vs. Predator look like Blade Runner. The comparisons could go on but only as a mechanism of avoiding discussing the movie. The reason: I don't know what the film was about. It's just you typical once upon a time there was a girl named Elektra, she died and was brought back to life, did some stick-fighting, got kicked out, and became a highly-paid assassin story. Then things get real murky. Like foggy night on the moors murky.

There are slow-motion fights, fast editing, and convoluted flashbacks. The director's and his agent should be tied up and beaten, not for turning in this pile of crap but rather not recognizing the vast and uncountable flaws permeating throughout the, and I use the word in it's loosest possible sense, story. See, at it's heart Elektra has no heart. What could've been a passable revenge story turns into punishing experience, for the audience. This is the first film in a very long time I've wanted to walk out on. The characters were hackneyed, the dialogue painful, the acting stilted. I actually walked out at one point when things were looking particularly grim but made the mistake to return and endure the crap-fest. I wanted to be entertained, I wanted to be impressed. I got neither and I won't even get my money back cause that policy only extends to the first 30 minutes of a movie. Now, while I believe that you should be able to tell good movie from bad within 30, there should be an exemption for films so bad that you end up glued to your seat praying for an intelligent or genuinely funny moment. Neither appeared.

This had the feel of a movie that had to be made to a certain formula, the comic-book formula for those of you out there who think this was a retelling of the great Greek tragedy. It ain't. Elektra comes over from Daredevil, a movie I find unfairly maligned. Daredevil was entertaining, visually interesting, and at its center has a strong story to tell, ironically also of revenge. But where as Daredevil is redeemed by suffering, Elektra is redeemed because it's convenient to the plot. Oh, and there's a twist you can see coming a mile away, but I won't spoil it for you diehards. Hey, go see the movie. The fault lies less in Jennifer Garner's acting and more in the exploitation of character with absolutely nothing new to say, to do, or contribute. If we, the audience, learns as Elektra does, then we're both brain-dead. I know I sure was.

Elektra may not go down as the worst movie in history, if Paul W.S. Anderson has a movie coming out this year, he'll take care of that. But it will be on my ten worst list come year-end and I find myself hard pressed to imagine nine worse experiences. To the producers of Hollywood this is not a dare, merely an observation. Oh, screw it. So much crap is coming down the pipe that Elektra will be lucky to make the ten worst. Trust me on this. I for one, am not looking forward to sitting through any more Elektra's. Please take pity on this poor reviewer, no more crap, I beg of youPretty please.
Jess Nakaska is an aspiring screenwriter always on the lookout for the next great script idea. He'll let you know if he finds it. Feel free to contact him at jessnakaska@hotmail.com.