Mindhunters: Hunting the Most Dangerous Prey

Seriously, it's bigger than a t-rex, smarter than a computer, and its got a great imagination. No, I'm not talking about The Hitchhikers Guide to Galaxy (better than average, seemed to have missed a ton of really satisfying in-jokes that only hardcore Hitchhiker-fans got), I'm talking about the soon to be released cult-favorite Mindhunters. Consider this an early review. And if you don't like to be spoiled, except by your Grandma on your birthday, then stay clear. Forewarned is forearmed.

Mindhunters tells the tale of a group of young up-and-coming FBI Profilers who head out on "one last training exercise" on an abandoned island full of intentional and unintentional surprises with a last minute addition to the group, LL Cool J's Gabe Jensen. The group is under the tutelage of Val Kilmer who seems to be channeling Brando at his most laconic. Come to think about it, he's being doing this more and more. Maybe Kilmer is some sort of psychic mindhunter in the real world. Either that or he's on some stuff that makes your hand and its trails the most interesting object in the universe. Christian Slater plays the group's macho and gung-ho leader, J.D. At least for the thirty seconds he's in the movie. OopsSpoiler alert. Come on, you can't tell you didn't see this coming. One last training exercise, spooky abandoned island, late addition. This tale is strictly out of Agatha Christie. Call it 'Ten Little Profilers'.

As each of them is killed in clever and innovative ways, I kept expecting a "former victim" to reemerge as the killer, a neat and effective situation that's been repeated on everything from Remington Steele to Scream. Except it doesn't happen here. The killer is one of them. He/she/it/they make it to the end only to be discovered by something I like to call detective work and the fact that serial killers seem to be dogged by a strong case of OCD.

How do I feel about Mindhunters? I liked it. I thought the script, which I read a couple of years ago, which is how long this flick has been sitting on the shelf, was taut and exciting and a somewhat refreshing take on the serial killer genre. The killings were original but most importantly they is a logical manifestation to the order and style of the deaths. Not quite Se7en but good nonetheless. I especially loved the fact that _________ survived due to _____ wits. What? I'm not gonna ruin the end of the movie. I'm saving that for Revenge of the Sith. Guess what? Skywalker = Darth Vader.

Interestingly, the movie is directed by that great blight on the film community, Renny Harlin. He should be made to apologize publicly and then be lashed for Cutthroat Island. Pearl Harbor begun Ben Affleck's spiral of crap (though I still think Daredevil is a stronger movie than it's given credit for). In Mindhunters, we still stylized shots of the group, too much orange filter but only when there's not enough blue filter. Nonetheless, I liked the direction here, liked the plotting, liked the pacing, liked the dialogue, most of all I liked the flick. Damn you, Renny Harlin, for giving me hope that you might be a filmmaker after all and not some overpaid, over-hyped, Jerry Bruckheimer killjoy. Time will tell the tale.

In case anyone hasn't cottoned onto the idea by now, the most dangerous prey is of course man. And his most dangerous weapon is his mind. Especially if he's a scanner. Then he's really cooking with gas.
Jess Nakaska is an aspiring screenwriter always on the lookout for the next great script idea. He'll let you know if he finds it. Feel free to contact him at jessnakaska@hotmail.com.