Reviews & Previews - Fast Five

Posted on Sunday, May 01, 2011 at 06:00 PM

Fast Five

Reviewed by: S. Tran

Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne Johnson
Directed by: Justin Lin
Running Time: 130
Rated: PG-13

The Shark Got Jumped Real Good

Have you ever watched a movie and wondered if the director was just pulling your leg to see how much stupidity you would accept before just giving up in disgust? If you answer is no, then go see Fast Five and you will see what that feels like. This last installment in the franchise gets so far away from the original premise of the first movie that it feels less like a sequel to The Fast and the Furious and more like a low rent Ocean’s 11.

Diesel, and Walker are back as Dom and Brian, respectively, picking up where the last movie left off as Brian and Dom’s sister Mia (Jordana Brewster) hatch a plan to break him out of the bus taking him to jail. This is where director Justin Lin starts laughing at his audience as the plan relies on letting the giant prison bus, crash full speed into the back of the modified sports car so that the bus will flip and roll over several times.

While I agree this might let you retrieve Dom from the bus, the odds are fairly slim he would be alive, or even in one piece. Yet Lin has the audacity to have a news report scene where it it reported that no one was killed in the crash. Would you believe this was actually one of the more believable stunts in the movie?

Dom and the gang then go on the run as they are hunted down by various law enforcement agencies. Being the geniuses they are, they figure the best way to hide and lay low is to start committing crimes as soon as they get to Rio, including one ridiculous scene where they try and take some cars from a moving train. I am assuming they did this because in all of Rio there aren’t expensive cars sitting on the street somewhere.

Of course the crime takes a twist and they find themselves on the wrong end of the powerful crime lord in all of Brasil, named Reyes. They also learn that  U.S. Agent Hobbs (Johnson) is in Brasil. In light of all this heat the gang come up with a plan to not only elude Hobbs but also steal all of Reye’s money because running away is smart, but you know, not manly.

That’s pretty much all I can say about the plot because the rest was such lazy, stupid writing that it would be worthless to tell you any more. I really don’t see the point in writing a story if you simply ignore things you have established whenever it suits you.

The first movie was a fun, summer car ride. Sure, it had its share of plot holes to but you could forgive them because it was just a silly good time. This one tries so hard to be something clever and cool that it completely misses the mark. As the stunts get bigger and more impressive you start to care less and less. Its like watching someone trying to tell a joke and bombing, except this time the joke is on us.

Fans of the series might want to watch this, but everyone else would have a better time doing something else for two hours. Do I really need to talk about the acting?

2 out of 5 stars.